Diet Coke w/ the wonderful @bananahannah22! Final score 2-3 — she could drink me under the table. (Taken with instagram)
To strengthen and cure my weakening body, I consume this food as medicine.
– Joanna Poppink (via mylifewithanorexia) Via Surviving Anorexia
This. Is. Me.
half of me: I want to lose weight
other half of me: I want my life back
Amy was my best friend growing up, and then her family moved to Virginia. We didn’t keep in touch very well, and then my family moved to Florida. A few years ago, I found her on myspace through a mutual friend. We reconnected, caught up, and started keeping in touch. I had less and less time to be online with two babies, and then she was pregnant, and I didn’t think much of her not being online. But then I was searching for her one day, and I read that she died. My heart stopped. I found her mom through an online friend of Amy’s, and contacted Maria on Facebook. She said Amy had pulmonary hypertension that led to HELLP that led her to deliver at 26 weeks and took her life when Kylie was just 36 hours old. My heart broke. Amy was my best friend. She was someone I could be myself around, laugh with, cry with. Her parents treated me like I was their own. And now her dad, Rick, is gone. And Amy is gone. And I have the chance to see Maria again, and to meet Kylie and her dad, John. I’m so nervous. What do you say to a 3-year-old who will never know her mom? I looked through an old box of pictures tonight and found one of Amy and I. I scanned and cropped and printed it, and I’m going to frame it for Kylie. I’m excited to meet this little girl — she’s half Amy, and that makes her one very special kid.
Delete.
I just deleted everything from Friday through today off of my food log, and it felt good. I have literally written down everything I put in my mouth since July 1, 2011, and it’s nice to have a week off. Karen doesn’t need to know what I ate, and I’ll start again on Friday for Holly to look at on Monday.
About me
(~TWLOHA~)
This is definitely where I'm at right now in my eating disorder/recovery process. I'm on the fence -- and I don't know which to choose. Both my eating disorder and recovery claim that they will save me -- only in different ways. I know it should probably be a simple choice, and to those on the outside looking in, it should be an obvious choice -- but it's not.
Thanks to the amazing Superstars of IOP, I'm not stuck in this hole alone. Having a great support system of girls that truly get what you're going through and understand why you do what you do really does make all the difference. And I'm also blessed with an amazing treatment team. I don't think I'll ever understand why they care as much as they do, but I'm really thankful that they haven't given up on me yet.
But in all seriousness, these are some quotes, conversations, pictures, videos, art, writings, etc. by me or by other people that are either motivational, inspirational, or just plain express how I'm feeling. None of it is meant to promote and/or glorify eating disorders in any way.
